Then in the beginning of April I went with my mom to watch Riverdance perform for the last time in Syracuse, NY. Wow that was purely breathtaking. I kept leaning in and straining to see their fast speeding, tapping feet. I wish I could either sing like that or dance like that. There is something about Celtic music that I connect to. Whether its the fast paced jig with crazy fiddling or the haunting, breezy sound of the pipes I can't help but feel it all in my bones.
When I listen to this style of music I feel the worlds and the stories they tell come to life, and I can sense how old these stories truly are. I know I have Scottish and Irish heritage in me, even if it has become extremely diluted living in the US for so long and being intermixed with the English, French, German and ALL the other nationalites I'm descended from. But yet I keep yearning to learn more about the culture and its people and their history. I have never been the best about doing geneology work, because the scale of it for my family is SOOO daunting. I have done some and it felt good, but I think what is hardest about doing this work is that I write the perons name down... and then thats all they become to me a name on a page. I'm a writer and a reader, I LOVE stories thats what I really live off of. I want to find out who those people are! I want to learn of their tragedies, their joy, their fears, and their hobbies in life. I do know that my family has lived in the United States for a couple centuries now. I want to learn the stories of those who first came here to settle. What led them to America, hope of a new life, sense of adventure, or even just running from their past.
I really hope that by going to Scotland for the next year, I'll be able to find a way to find where my ancestors came from and what their life might have been like.
I could never quite explain it, but I remember during the British Literary Pilgrimage last year when we first came to Ireland and even Wales and England, that I felt as if I had come home! Yes, the trees and the green reminding me so much of Upstate NY especially after the browns and open plains of Idaho, but it was more than that. It was almost as if I could feel my ancestors welcoming me home to the land I was REALLY from.
I am beyond excited to get the chance to live in Scotland and live with its people and learn of my ancient heritage as well as gain a Masters degree. There are times when I still don't know for sure whether this is what I need to do, but I do know that if I don't take this chance, I will never get it again. This is a chance of a lifetime. I have to just keep praying that Heavenly Father will guide me in the right direction. I know a lot of my doubt is nerves, about moving to another country, and having to make friends again, but when I just think of the places I'll see and the experiences I'll have whether all good or bad, they will change me forever and I'll never lose those.
"Awakening"
Now when the world is shadowed and dark
Now when the sky is empty of stars
Now when the world is wrapped in sleep
In a quiet endless and deep
In the Silence of the night
Far off in the distance
A fire comes to life
A flicker of a flame breaks through the dark
Burning soft and bright
Dancing with the light
Awakening the Heavens and the Earth
Far across the ociean
A flame is rising high
Breaking through the shadows and the dark
Shining in the night
Rising with the light
Here to wake the Heavens and the Earth
Now as the light starts to rise
Now as the day opens wide
Now as the dreams slips away
You wake to the day
You wake to the light
Here as your dream falls away
Feel as the dark turns to day
Leave the shadows behind
And the dream called in blind
Turn into the light
Far off in the distance
A fire comes to life
A flicker of a flame breaks throught the dark
Burning soft and bright
Dancing with the light
Awakening the Heavens and the Earth
Far across the ocean
A flame is rising high
Breaking through the shadows and the dark
Shinging in the night
Rising with the light
Here to wake the Heavens and the Earth
Here to wake the Heavens and the Earth
To light.
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