As many of you know, I was supposed to go to Scotland for Grad School, I would be there right now finishing up in the next month or so. Last July, the Lord decided it wasn't meant to be. I listened and canceled my loans, contacted the school and never went. Two weeks after making that decision I bought a car. Around a month later packed up my car and drove across the country to Utah. I moved in with my sister Sondra and her husband Lars and lived there for 6 months, a lot longer than I had planned. Luckily only after being in Utah for a couple weeks I found a job at Einstein Bagels, mostly full time, with crappy pay but it was a job so I gladly accepted it.
Those 6 months were long and challenging. Sometimes I thought I knew exactly what I was doing, other times I was completely lost. I started looking for my own place starting in January but determined I still hadn't saved enough money. Sondra and Lars were kind enough to let me keep staying there (more or less using me as a permanent baby-sitter for their dogs :P lol). February passed and March was a half way over and still hadn't found a place to move to. Then a blessing from above! If you are patient...Heavenly Father will bless you abundantly and with EXACTLY what you need!
An old roommate from BYU-Idaho posted on facebook that she had a room in a house for rent. It was in South Jordan, one of the areas I was looking to move to. I went to see the place and just walking in I knew this was the place for me. That Sunday she invited me to attend her ward, and with that first time I knew I was meant to be here. I moved in the weekend after getting back from Florida, only a few weeks after first learning about the place.
I have now been in this house for 3.5 months now. At times I wanted to leave again. When Sondra and Lars moved to their own townhouse, Lars kept 'teasing' about me moving in there with them again, paying rent this time but cheaper than what I'm paying now. Trust me, I was sorely tempted. One, I'd save money and Two, they live out away from the city and traffic and it actually is dark at night! However, I had to keep telling myself, "No I'm supposed to be here in the YSA Ward I'm in now".
For awhile now, probably for the last 5 months at least I started thinking about the possibility to reapply to grad schools in the UK again. I even contacted my old adviser and asked her if it was possible. I could have applied by April, which was when I was in the middle of moving and getting resettled, and go for fall this year. Or wait until October this year to apply for Fall 2014. I seriously thought about it, picked out different schools all over again. Finally I put it on hold telling myself I'll wait until October to make a definite decision to apply again or not. This whole time though I've been hoping and praying that it would work out. I had instances of being terrified to try, knowing that if it didn't happen after applying again, I'll be heartbroken. I didn't know if I could recover from having this dream denied to me twice. Secretly this whole been thinking it will work out I'm still going to apply and see what happens. A lot can happen in a year (as I've learned before).
Then a few weeks ago, I went to the Draper Temple and had one of the most amazing experiences I've had in a long time!
---- Before relating the main reason why I'm writing this blog I have to write about another experience at the temple. There were three young men going through the Temple for themselves and I loved watching their faces. I loved watching their family and friends faces. You could see the joy and utter happiness emanate from them like a physical presence. The proud tears on their parents faces and the small quiet smiles on the three young men. Every time I looked toward them I couldn't help but break out into a large smile myself and feel tears slide down my cheeks. Just imagining how amazing it is that these young men have found a way to resist the temptations of the world, especially when Satan is trying his hardest to tare down our youth. Watching them I felt so much JOY knowing the world isn't completely without hope. I look forward to the day when I'll have my own sons and daughters to bring to the Temple to receive their covenants and be sealed for time and eternity. I know that may sound crazy, since I'm a long way from even finding my own eternal companion but I felt that impression so strongly at that time. ----
Finally, after months of fighting what I already knew to be the truth but didn't want it to be... Grad school in the UK. It isn't meant for me anymore. I did not want to admit this to myself, even if deep down I knew it was the truth. The one person we tell lies to the most, but can also hurt the most, is ourselves. I still believe that I will somehow, someday end up back in the UK. The call for that land was too strong when I was over there so briefly two years ago. I had felt like I'd come home, so I know my dream of going to the UK isn't forever gone, but it's not the right timing for it. Even more so, grad school isn't the right reason to go. After a year of secretly hoping and wishing that I could still possibly go to Grad school in the UK, it feels....refreshing to finally admit the truth. Like now I can start searching and dreaming of another possible future. One that is completely wide open to all kinds of ideas! Do I know yet what those are? No, I have not a clue hahaha, but I'm willing to wait to find out! I know though without a doubt, that I am meant to be in the Daybreak YSA Ward, for whatever reason. The bishopric in this ward is amazing, the people in this ward are spectacular and I'm looking forward to making friends and becoming social again lol.
I know my Father in Heaven has a plan for me, one that I can't see. He knows what is best for me. It's not a coincidence that I found this place in this ward when I did. It's not a coincidence that all the other places I looked at never worked. It's not a coincidence that I had to wait so long to find my own place. THIS IS WHERE I'M MEANT TO BE! Now I have to learn to be patient, and listen to the promptings from the spirit wherever they lead me. However, I also still have to be actively moving forward as well, not sitting at home watching my Korean dramas, daydreaming over Korean men who sing, dance and act...lol. If I'm meant to be in this ward, then I need to learn to BE in this ward!
This weekend was a good restart for me. Our ward was having a Book of Mormon Marathon. If you don't know what that means, it is where you read out loud the entire Book of Mormon from cover to end in a certain amount of days. I had the chance to go on Saturday for the last half of it and stayed for 7.5 hours. What a wonderful experience that was. It was there where my impression to stay in this ward was reinforced. I just have to keep reminding myself this, when I have another lazy day and decide not to go to an activity.
To end a quote from Marilyn Monroe:
An old roommate from BYU-Idaho posted on facebook that she had a room in a house for rent. It was in South Jordan, one of the areas I was looking to move to. I went to see the place and just walking in I knew this was the place for me. That Sunday she invited me to attend her ward, and with that first time I knew I was meant to be here. I moved in the weekend after getting back from Florida, only a few weeks after first learning about the place.
I have now been in this house for 3.5 months now. At times I wanted to leave again. When Sondra and Lars moved to their own townhouse, Lars kept 'teasing' about me moving in there with them again, paying rent this time but cheaper than what I'm paying now. Trust me, I was sorely tempted. One, I'd save money and Two, they live out away from the city and traffic and it actually is dark at night! However, I had to keep telling myself, "No I'm supposed to be here in the YSA Ward I'm in now".
For awhile now, probably for the last 5 months at least I started thinking about the possibility to reapply to grad schools in the UK again. I even contacted my old adviser and asked her if it was possible. I could have applied by April, which was when I was in the middle of moving and getting resettled, and go for fall this year. Or wait until October this year to apply for Fall 2014. I seriously thought about it, picked out different schools all over again. Finally I put it on hold telling myself I'll wait until October to make a definite decision to apply again or not. This whole time though I've been hoping and praying that it would work out. I had instances of being terrified to try, knowing that if it didn't happen after applying again, I'll be heartbroken. I didn't know if I could recover from having this dream denied to me twice. Secretly this whole been thinking it will work out I'm still going to apply and see what happens. A lot can happen in a year (as I've learned before).
Then a few weeks ago, I went to the Draper Temple and had one of the most amazing experiences I've had in a long time!
---- Before relating the main reason why I'm writing this blog I have to write about another experience at the temple. There were three young men going through the Temple for themselves and I loved watching their faces. I loved watching their family and friends faces. You could see the joy and utter happiness emanate from them like a physical presence. The proud tears on their parents faces and the small quiet smiles on the three young men. Every time I looked toward them I couldn't help but break out into a large smile myself and feel tears slide down my cheeks. Just imagining how amazing it is that these young men have found a way to resist the temptations of the world, especially when Satan is trying his hardest to tare down our youth. Watching them I felt so much JOY knowing the world isn't completely without hope. I look forward to the day when I'll have my own sons and daughters to bring to the Temple to receive their covenants and be sealed for time and eternity. I know that may sound crazy, since I'm a long way from even finding my own eternal companion but I felt that impression so strongly at that time. ----
Finally, after months of fighting what I already knew to be the truth but didn't want it to be... Grad school in the UK. It isn't meant for me anymore. I did not want to admit this to myself, even if deep down I knew it was the truth. The one person we tell lies to the most, but can also hurt the most, is ourselves. I still believe that I will somehow, someday end up back in the UK. The call for that land was too strong when I was over there so briefly two years ago. I had felt like I'd come home, so I know my dream of going to the UK isn't forever gone, but it's not the right timing for it. Even more so, grad school isn't the right reason to go. After a year of secretly hoping and wishing that I could still possibly go to Grad school in the UK, it feels....refreshing to finally admit the truth. Like now I can start searching and dreaming of another possible future. One that is completely wide open to all kinds of ideas! Do I know yet what those are? No, I have not a clue hahaha, but I'm willing to wait to find out! I know though without a doubt, that I am meant to be in the Daybreak YSA Ward, for whatever reason. The bishopric in this ward is amazing, the people in this ward are spectacular and I'm looking forward to making friends and becoming social again lol.
I know my Father in Heaven has a plan for me, one that I can't see. He knows what is best for me. It's not a coincidence that I found this place in this ward when I did. It's not a coincidence that all the other places I looked at never worked. It's not a coincidence that I had to wait so long to find my own place. THIS IS WHERE I'M MEANT TO BE! Now I have to learn to be patient, and listen to the promptings from the spirit wherever they lead me. However, I also still have to be actively moving forward as well, not sitting at home watching my Korean dramas, daydreaming over Korean men who sing, dance and act...lol. If I'm meant to be in this ward, then I need to learn to BE in this ward!
This weekend was a good restart for me. Our ward was having a Book of Mormon Marathon. If you don't know what that means, it is where you read out loud the entire Book of Mormon from cover to end in a certain amount of days. I had the chance to go on Saturday for the last half of it and stayed for 7.5 hours. What a wonderful experience that was. It was there where my impression to stay in this ward was reinforced. I just have to keep reminding myself this, when I have another lazy day and decide not to go to an activity.
To end a quote from Marilyn Monroe:
"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right. And sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."
1 comment:
Love it! Needed a reminder that God is actively involved in our lives and that things always work out for the best.
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