There are so many things that I am afraid of. I'm afraid of moving outside of my comfort zone and I'm afraid of opening up to people. I have been like this since I was a child, and I still am to this day. Recently I joined It Works! as a Distributor. My close friend from home, Shannon, has been a part of this company for over a year now. I have watched her grow even stronger than she was before and I ALWAYS saw her as being the strong one. Raising a family as her husband goes through school and working. She has become such an example to me in how I want to have my family. Her faith is STUPENDOUS and humbling! Her dedication to the job that she full-heartily supports and believes in is spectacular. Her confidence in what she does and the personal development that she has experienced after joining It Works!, is what inspired me to learn more about it.
When she first started I became a Loyal Costumer but it didn't last long. (In my defense I was getting engaged and planning a wedding in a matter of 3 months, so somethings got lost in that emotional high! :P) However sometime last fall I started feeling trapped in my boring day to day job in an office, sitting on a computer all day to the point that I was starting to call in sick every other week as a mental health day. I was at an all time low that I hadn't been to in over a year. My faith was becoming rocky and my fear of meeting new people and feeling like a "project" at church and dwelling too strongly on my anxieties caused me to skip as much as I could. I didn't like where I was going and I didn't see a way to escape it. The idea of being in a job that I hated for the rest of my life, made me want to run away and never look back. - Responsibilities...suck!
Then here was Shannon, my friend since I was 8 years old at least. Even though we may not see each other for months on end, every time we meet up its like no time has passed. (Other than she had another baby...haha jk:P) I watched Shannon, through Facebook go through a tragedy that I can't even imagine how hard and difficult it may be. She didn't wilt in the face it, or run and hide or become angry at the world. She tried to find the positive, and above all she drew even closer to Christ and relied on his strength to pull her through. AND! During this trial the whole way, she STILL was passionate about It Works and working so hard to help other people find their joy in life. She never gave up! I'm sure there were hard days, but she made sure she stayed positive.
Around this time, I started thinking about the possibility of joining It Works. I went and visited with Shannon and asked some questions and she told me to pray about it, to learn for MYSELF if It Works was right for me. My biggest regret is, that I didn't. I thought about it and every post she made on Facebook seemed to be telling me something. One thing kept holding me back. FEAR! Nothing else but FEAR! Fear of reaching out to people, fear of offending someone, fear of being too pushy, fear of not being myself. Fear, is a nasty thing, it eats away at you, until you don't even realize how much it has changed your life.
Fear...kept me from trying to make friends.
Fear....kept me inside, in my house and avoiding contact with human beings
Fear...has kept me from applying to new jobs and learning what I Really want to do with my life.
Fear...has kept me from all the things I once loved and enjoyed in my life.
Finally, a few weeks ago as I was showering - hey that's a great place to think! - I finally told myself, let's do it!
So I texted Shannon and told I want in. So here I am a few weeks and I'm STILL dwelling on my fears. Still letting them take control of my life and inhibiting me from growing and moving forward.
I am so tired of letting fear control me. So this is me, letting go of fear and trying, so hard for me to come through again. I do not know where being a part of It Works will take me, how far I go. Either way, I know that at least it will help me become a stronger, confident woman of God again.
"I've always been the kind of girl
That hid my face
So afraid to tell the world
What I've got to say
But I have this dream
But I have this dream
Right inside of me
I'm gonna let it show
It's time to let you know
To let you know!
This is real!
This is Me!
I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be now
Gonna let the light shine on me
Now I've found who I am
There's no way to hold it in
No more hiding who I wanna be
This is me!
Do you know what it's like
To feel so in the dark
To dream about a life
Where you're the shining star
Even though it seems
Like its too far away
I have to believe in myself
It's the only way
This is real!
This is ME!
I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be now
Gonna let the light shine on me
Now I've found who I am
No more hiding who I wanna be
This is Me!
- This Is Me, from Camp Rock
1 comment:
You're amazing! You go girl!
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