Well, its way past time to be updating this blog. I was doing fairly well for quite awhile there. But I've sunken into the mediocrity of life again. I've started an update for this blog multiple times the last few months but I always deleted it after writing only a paragraph or so. For some reason it just didn't seem right. I'm not quite sure why I'm finally writing now, only that I know I need to.
Many may be wondering how I'm doing living in Utah right now. I've tried to enjoy myself but lately I've become homesick. Yes, this is ME writing this! I know doesn't sound right at all does it. I can't explain it to myself even exactly. I miss the east coast. I miss the hills and the green and trees. Even though its winter I want to go home. More than anything I miss the country feel. This is my first time living in anything remotely resembling a city. Little bitty Shortsville doesn't even break 1800 people! Canandaigua the closest "city" is around 12,000. Then Rexburg, ID is at 27,000 but at least half, if not more of that is just the college. Now here I am living in West Jordan, UT not even SLC itself and it has 105,000 people living here!
I'm tired of the traffic, the pollution and nasty smog in this valley. I want to drive on country roads where you can't see whats ahead because of the bending, windy, hilly roads. I want to walk in a thick glade of trees, even if they are still leaf-less because its winter. I miss all the creeks and lakes everywhere. I miss the random farm fields that pop up between each town/city. I miss seeing cowboys and cowgirls walking into stores with their boots and hats and smelling of horse (yes this is from Rexburg mostly). I miss the crazy hunting rednecks wearing their camouflage everywhere they go.
Clearly I am a country girl and cities are not to my liking. And to think that I was planning on living in Aberdeen, Scotland for a whole year with a population of 240,000! I'm grateful that I didn't end up moving there and end up feeling this claustrophobic feeling again. I want to go on a hike to see amazing sights! I don't want to drive anywhere here though because of the traffic plus I can't spend money on gas right now. Also, the best "sights" to see is of the Salt Lake Valley and I'm SICK of seeing city lights wherever I go.
I know I should be happy and grateful for all the wonderful blessings that I have right now. However I still have the same low-paying job and I'm getting irritated with working there already. And, I'm still living with my sister and her husband. I feel like a burden. I'm ready to find my own place and to move on with my life. But I really don't want to move on and find a place to stay here in SLC/ Valley area. I need COUNTRY! I want to see nature: animals, trees, creeks, rivers, lakes, mountains, hills.
I'm sure I will figure things out. I have to try and be patient right now, and patience isn't a strong trait in me. I know the Lord has plans for me and there was a reason for me moving here. I have to keep praying that He will continue to lead me in the right direction. Right now though... it is hard. I HATE the fact that the lack of money is what is truly keeping me from leaving. I've never hated anything as much as I HATE money and how it can keep you from your dreams and wishes. Well, I'll keep staying strong. I have to have the FAITH that I had when I first came out here. Faith in my Father in Heaven that someday my dreams will come true and I'll find my niche in this world.
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