What a Little Bit of Sunshine Can Do!

As many can see from my previous post, I've been feeling kind of down lately and trapped.  Well, yesterday that all changed, or at least my attitude and mood did.  I went to work as usual, and then SUNSHINE!  Glorious, beautiful SUNSHINE!  Amazing how much happier and brighter one can become when there is a little bit of Sun peeping through the fog and clouds.  It isn't just sunshine that brightened the mood, it was  the warmth it provided.  Temperatures reached to the mid-40s and I'm ready to start breaking out the light weight jacket and rolling down my window in my car.

There have been many dreams and plans for the future that seem so far away lately.  I want to travel so much, especially go back to Ireland, England and finally see Scotland of course.  Yet I also want to know what I WANT to do, as in a career.  I've mentioned this many times before but I have no idea how I want to use my degree.  To be honest, my dream job would be to work with animals somehow.  I don't want to be a vet though that is too much work and I'm not a fan of cutting into animals...  What I think I would like to do is work with dogs and horses to rehabilitate teens or kids.  More along those lines.  Then more than anything I want to settle down.  Actually have my own place, that I can call mine and I can decorate how I want to.  I know that seems silly but I really do.

Yes, there are so many things I want to do and places I want to see, but I keep forgetting one very important thing.  I already have SO much in my life to be happy for.  I have amazing friends who always lend a listening ear even when they are going through tough times themselves.  Family.  Especially Sondra and Lars who are letting me live with them for so long until I save enough to move out on my own. I truly am grateful for them and all they have helped me with since coming here.  Even though I'm not a fan of the city or Utah in general, I live in a fairly safe, clean, friendly area.  I have a roof over my head, heat, food, a job and even a car of my own. There are SO MANY people out there that haves so much less then me.  I need to remember this more than anything else right now.

I don't know what the future holds for me.  I don't know where I'll be in two months from now let alone a year.  I have so many dreams right now and goals, but just waiting for them to be handed to me isn't going to work.  I have to remain strong, have FAITH, in my Father in Heaven and especially in myself.  Just because I get a little down because things aren't going the way I'd like them to isn't a reason for me to completely give up on them.  Reaching your goals takes a lot of hard work, persistence, patience and dedication.  I can't give up when things get just a little rough.

Someday I will go back to the United Kingdom, I truly do believe that.  Someday I will have my own place. Someday even if its not my dream job, I'll have a better paying job that I enjoy at least.  Someday I'll be with that special someone that makes my day and life better and happier and start my own family.  All of this however isn't going to happen instantaneously and all at once.  I have to take the steps and progress and continue working towards those goals.  I WON'T GIVE UP!

This has been a very long and hard month for me.  Wanting to move out to my own place and stressing over many different choices that I could make.  Being away from home has been hard lately for some reason.  I miss the trees and the hills and green so much!  Separated from loved ones is even harder sometimes.  However, I am determined that this month I will be make a goal and strive to be HAPPIER every day.  To find something to get excited for even if its something silly and nerdy haha :).  I'm going to also try eating better because I know I've been doing really bad lately, and exercising a little as well.  I know by doing this I will in time find my way and know where I'm meant to go from here. :D

"I won't look back, I can go the distance

And I'll stay on track, no, I won't accept defeat

It's an uphill slope, but I won't lose hope

Till I go the distance, and my journey is complete."